Following the Energy (Even When It Takes You Somewhere Unexpected)

I started this year feeling like I'd come through a birth canal.

That might sound dramatic, but it's the closest thing to the truth. Last year was one of the most challenging years I've had in a really a long time. I went through a major breakup, lost two dear friends, and faced a financial restructuring in my business that was eye-opening yet so exhausting. For most of the year, I found myself in a deeply internal mindset, and I was more reclusive than usual.

Still, I kept showing up for my practices. I kept breathing and kept doing The Passion Test monthly. None of it produced a big dramatic shift, but the breathwork felt a centering and The Passion Test gave me permission to be gentle with myself.

I did start to feel dismayed, though. I wasn't feeling that aliveness I'm used to, and at one point I remember asking myself, "Is this just who I am now? Numb?"

I let that question sit without an answer, because I knew I had to surrender to the possibility that maybe the quieter, more internal version of me was the version I'd be experiencing for a while.

Then earlier this year, the energy began to shift.

It started with clearing out my loft. That physical decluttering provided a kickstart I wasn't expecting. January arrived, and suddenly work was picking up and I felt lighter and clearer, like I'd spent all of last year in a cocoon and was emerging to test this new version of myself.

I'm sharing this because so many of us go through these longer seasons of processing and healing (completely normal!), and we judge ourselves for it. We think we should be bouncing back faster. Or our practices should be "fixing" us. But the practices aren't there to catapult you out of a hard season. They're meant to carry you through it, so that when the energy does return, when winter turns back into spring, you're ready.

I know I wouldn't feel the way I do today without continuing my regular breathwork and using The Passion Test as a guide.

Let's explore.

When the Idea Doesn't Match the Energy

At the beginning of this year, with all that fresh creative energy flowing through me, I knew I wanted to create something. Ideas were coming in fast. One of them was for a women's course focused on embodiment and reclamation.

It felt like a great idea. It still does!

But, over the years, The Passion Test has taught me that there's a difference between a good idea and where your energy actually wants to go. My mind loved the idea of a women's course, yet every month when I sat down and wrote my fresh list of passions (and I always write a brand new list, no copying from last month), the women's course never made it into my top five.

Since it continued to come up, that was a great signal that the idea had merit. But the energy wasn't pushing it into one of my main passions.

Instead of forcing myself to bunker down and push out material for a course I wasn't truly ready to create yet, I gave myself permission to let it sit. I'm letting that women's course linger for when the timing is right.

Passions always have their own timing (I've written about this before! Check out that blog here). And if you can honor that, month by month, instead of judging yourself for what you're not producing, you start to develop a real trust in your own unfolding.

The Gift I Didn't See Coming

So there I was, letting the women's course rest on the back burner, staying open, following the energy breadcrumbs. And then, in the most synchronistic way, two women entered my life who wanted to collaborate on a retreat.

Now, I need you to understand what this means to me. The dream of facilitating retreats first came to me 40 years ago. Forty years. Over the course of my life, that dream has ebbed and flowed. I've worked on other people's retreats, and I tried collaborating with someone years ago. While it taught me a lot, the collaboration wasn't the right fit. I came away from that experience knowing more clearly who I wanted to work with and how I wanted the experience to feel.

Truly, we're always following threads we can't fully see yet.

For years after that, people asked me, "Why aren't you doing retreats?"

I wanted to! I really wanted to, yet it never worked out.

Regardless, part of me was absorbing information from every retreat experience I had, every training I attended, and every facilitator I watched. I was taking it all in without realizing I was preparing for the day when the energy would finally align.

So when these two women showed up in my life earlier this year, it was a resounding YES. I knew I had finally met the right people to build a retreat with. Because of that, the collaboration has felt easy and genuinely inspiring from the start.

If I'd been rigidly attached to my original plan (create the course first, then do retreats someday), I might've said no to this opportunity. I might've told myself it wasn't the right time because the course had to come first.

That's what we do when we're locked into an agenda: we miss the thing that's actually trying to find us.

The Retreat

I'm so thrilled to share that we're launching our first Women's Sacred Renewal and Embodiment Retreat right here in Sedona, October 2nd through 5th.

It's an intimate gathering, limited to only eight women, at a beautiful private Airbnb with a labyrinth on the property. I'll be leading breathwork and ecstatic dance, and I'm co-creating this experience with two incredible women.

Monica McMahon is a wellness entrepreneur, retreat curator, and embodiment specialist who created The SWAY Method, a structured yet intuitive approach to restoring trust and freedom in the body. With over two decades as an E-RYT yoga teacher, Pilates instructor, and energy healing practitioner, Monica spent 13 years designing signature wellness programs at The Boca Raton resort. She brings a grounded, deeply intuitive presence to everything she does, and she curates personalized retreats and wellness experiences around the world.

Marianne Altschul is a holistic life coach, integrative therapist, and clinical social worker with over 25 years of experience. A Columbia University graduate, Marianne specializes in neuroscience, mindfulness, and positive psychology, and she's also a certified Kundalini yoga and meditation teacher. She's a gifted group facilitator who has a way of creating safe, supportive space where people can let go of fear and stress and step into real liberation. She's worked in some of the most demanding healthcare environments in the country, and that depth of experience comes through in how she holds a room.

Together, the three of us are bringing yoga, sacred ceremony, hiking, breathwork, and so much more to this retreat. The whole experience is designed for women who are tapped out, burned out, and ready to come back to themselves.

The part that still amazes me is that before we even had marketing materials put together, five of the eight spots were claimed! Just through word of mouth.

If you're interested, check out the retreat details and reserve your spot here. Only three spots remain, and I know they'll go quickly.

We're also planning a second retreat in Costa Rica for January, so if October doesn't work for your schedule, stay tuned for more details on that.

Your Energy Knows

If you had told me at the beginning of the year that instead of creating a women's course, I'd be planning a women's retreat that's been a dream for four decades, I would've laughed. But this is what happens when you follow the energy instead of the plan.

The Passion Test hasn't just helped me identify what I'm passionate about. It's taught me to notice what I'm NOT passionate about in any given month, and to be okay with that. It's taught me that putting something on pause isn't the same as giving up.

It's an ongoing conversation with yourself about what's true right now. Not what was true six months ago or what you think should be true. It's about what's actually alive in you today.

An Invitation

If you're in a season where you feel stuck, or you're trying to force something that isn't flowing, or you've got a dream that keeps getting pushed to "someday," I want you to know that the timing isn't yours to control. And that's not a failure. That's life flowing in the direction that best serves you.

Stay with your practices. Follow the breadcrumbs. And when the energy shows up for something, even if it looks different than what you planned, follow it.

You might be surprised at what's been waiting for you all along.

If you're curious about The Passion Test and how it can help you navigate your own seasons of expansion and rest, I'd love to talk! Book a FREE 15-minute discovery session with me, and let's explore where the energy is moving in your life right now.