Change Takes Its Sweet Time!

A few months back I wrote about my life chapters converging in L.A. (if you haven't read that blog, check it out here). The experience was so unexpected that I knew the universe was preparing me for something huge.

Well, I've got an update for you. And it's not what I expected.

After that profound experience—all those synchronicities, all those pieces of my past showing up at once—I came home practically bursting with anticipation. I was completely ready for my big transformation! I was prepared to embrace whatever massive shift was heading my way.

And then...

Nothing.

A few months passed, and absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happened.

I waited. And waited. The summer stretched on, and that expansive feeling I'd carried home from L.A. gradually faded. Status quo settled back in and I began to contract around this empty space where I was expecting change to happen.

I started to doubt myself. "Did I imagine the whole thing?"

And I felt STUCK, which is a difficult place to be. When I talk about helping others move past energy blocks and stagnation, I come from a place of complete understanding. Because I experience these moments too.

I was feeling that special kind of stuck where you know something's supposed to be happening but you have no idea what it is or how to make it arrive. I wasn't getting any inspiration, any direction, any breadcrumbs.

I started to feel hopeless about the whole situation. (Yes, even life coaches feel hopeless sometimes—we're human too!)

The Contraction After Expansion

Here's something I had to remind myself during those months of stagnation: expansion is always followed by contraction. It's a natural law, like breathing. You can't inhale forever. You have to exhale.

That wild, expansive experience in L.A. had to naturally flow back inward. The energy was shifting, and instead of fighting it, I needed to recognize the contraction for what it was: an integration period.

I was given a huge metaphorical knock on the door ("Hello? Change is coming!"), but it didn't mean I was ready for it. I still had to spend time exhaling, integrating the L.A. experience, and preparing the soil for the seeds that were waiting to sprout.

And as you may know from your own experiences, the universe does not rush. If we force it, change can happen too suddenly and overwhelm us.

Contraction isn't bad. It's necessary. It's where we pull our energy in and process what we've experienced. But knowing that intellectually and feeling it in your gut when you're in the middle of being "stuck" are two very different things.

The Unexpected Spark

When I was deep in that hopeless feeling, I simply went back to my foundational tools. I breathed through it and just sat with the feeling, not judging it, not trying to force it to go away. I let myself feel and I worked on integrating everything that had occurred in L.A.

When I finally stopped focusing on my anticipation (and thinking about the change I wanted to come), I found myself feeling more at peace. I returned to a sense of ease in my daily life.

Then, out of nowhere, during a random conversation with someone (not even a client!), we started talking about the intimacy work I do, particularly with Erotic Blueprints™. Suddenly—BOOM—this surge of excitement hit me as something clicked in my head.

I help so many women who struggle with feeling comfortable in their bodies and their sexuality, and who find intimacy with themselves (and others) challenging. So I wondered: "Why aren't there courses about this?"

This was the change I had been waiting for! Life was gently guiding me toward my passion around helping others with intimacy. I realized I want to create a course. Not just any course, but something specifically for women reclaiming their relationship to their bodies and sexuality after years of repression from patriarchal society, religion, culture… all of it.

The passion for this course just ignited.

It wasn't at all the direction I thought my transformation would take. I had this whole other picture in my mind of what was supposed to happen ("supposed to" should really be a cuss word because it's never helpful!). Yet the moment I stopped "should-ing" myself, the change was free to flow into my life.

It's time to deepen my work in supporting women on their journey of reclamation.

Following the Energy, Not the "Shoulds"

I'd been so focused on the big picture that I'd forgotten one of my own core teachings: The Passion Test shows us the next step, not the grand plan.

During those months of waiting, my mind had been full of shoulds. I should create a Family Constellations course. I should focus on breathwork training. I should, I should, I SHOULD...

But passion doesn't respond to shoulds. Passion responds to energy.

Follow the energy. That's become my life motto. And The Passion Test is about understanding how energy flows in different directions at different times. What's a passion now might not be a passion next year, and that's perfectly okay.

When that surge of excitement about the women's intimacy course hit me, I felt such relief. Not just because I finally had direction, but because I was reminded that we never know where the next step will come from.

It might come from a random conversation. It might come from something that seems completely unrelated to what you thought you were building. It might come after months of what feels like nothing.

Since that conversation, I've been diving back into coursework I've done about women's relationships to sexuality, drawing from my own personal journey, and reflecting on my experiences working with couples where the woman is struggling to feel connected to herself as an erotic being.

The course is coming together, and it feels aligned in a way that forcing myself to create something from my "should" list never would have.

Your Own Waiting Room

Here's my question for you: What are you waiting for right now? What transformation did you think was coming that seems to be taking its sweet time?

Maybe you're in your own contraction phase, integrating experiences that haven't quite revealed their gifts yet. Maybe you're trying to force the big picture to happen when what you need is just the next small step.

Wherever you are on your journey, just remember that contraction follows expansion, always. It's not a sign that you were wrong about the transformation. It's part of the transformation itself.

And when the energy does show up, even if it's from the most unexpected place, just follow it. Even if it's not what you pictured. Especially if it's not what you pictured.

Trust the process. Trust the timing. And trust that the energy will return to support and guide you.

Want to explore what energies are moving in your life right now? Let's chat about The Passion Test or any of my other tools that can help you navigate your own expansion and contraction cycles.

I invite you to book a FREE 15-minute discovery session with me. 

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