The Threads We Never See Coming

It's so interesting how we never know where our life threads are going. We can't see how they'll weave together five years from now, ten, or even twenty years down the road. And then one day, something appears and suddenly everything clicks into place like that last jigsaw puzzle piece that fell behind the couch.

That's exactly what happened to me when I decided to become a certified death doula.

Let me back up a little.

This past summer, I lost a dear friend. She was on the other side of the world, and I had planned to go see her to say goodbye. But she passed very quickly toward the end, and I never got to make that trip. That loss has stayed with me.

Then, another one of my closest friends began transitioning, and I've spent a lot of time with her over the past few months. Being present with her has been both heartbreaking and deeply meaningful. And I've felt tremendous gratitude for this time together, even alongside the grief.

As I mentioned in previous blogs, I've taken a step back to create space in my life. I've needed time to process what I'm experiencing, to slow down and really evaluate what's coming up.

Maybe it's because of the space I've created, or all the grief I've been experiencing, but a thought dropped into my head a few weeks ago: What if I became a death doula?

Shortly after having that thought, an email appeared in my inbox offering a death doula certification course. Imagine my surprise! I've never in my life received an email like that.

I took it as a sign and started my training.

Shifting Passions

This is something I talk about often with my clients, especially when we work with The Passion Test: things will come to you. When you have an idea, when you stay open, the next step presents itself. You only have to take the action.

The death doula email felt exactly like that. It was a nudge from somewhere deeper, followed by a breadcrumb I couldn't ignore.

I'm only a few weeks into training, yet I'm already so inspired. There are people from all over the world in the course, the teacher is phenomenal, and the content stirs something in me I didn't know needed to be stirred!

But here's what really blew my mind… Regardless of what I do with this certification, whether I work with the dying directly or support families navigating grief, this training fills a gap in my coaching. It's the same kind of gap that discovering Erotic Blueprints filled years ago.

Back then, I asked myself, "How can I possibly coach people and not talk about sexual energy?" Now, I'm having the exact same experience: How can I possibly coach people and not address death?

We act as if death is an aberration. It's a tragedy when people die. Something has gone terribly wrong.

But death is life as much as life is. We just don't want to look at it.

It reminds me of how we treat sexuality, actually. We compartmentalize it, we lock it away, we only take it out when we think it's appropriate. Death gets the same secretive treatment. We pretend it's not happening until suddenly it is, and then we don't know how to deal.

Holistic Threads

I've always believed in holistic coaching, in meeting clients where they are and working with the whole person. That's why I use so many modalities, why I flow between The Passion Test, Family Constellations, Breathwork, and Erotic Blueprints depending on what someone needs.

Now I see that my coaching is becoming even more holistic. It's encompassing even more of what it means to be human: the messy, the beautiful, the tender, the "taboo."

When I sat down for my first death doula class, something else came rushing back to me. I've been asked before what I consider my greatest accomplishments in life, and one of the first things I mention is that I advocated for my parents to die with dignity.

This was many years ago, around ten or twelve years back. They both went into hospice, two years apart, and I found myself going up against systems that didn't seem to have my parents' best interests at heart. I knew them. I knew what they would have wanted. And I fought for that, even though I knew nothing about death work at the time.

It didn't even occur to me until I started this training that this thread has been there all along. I just couldn't see it.

That's the beautiful mystery of life, isn't it? We plant seeds without realizing it. We follow nudges that seem random. And then years later, we look back and see how it all connects.

The Passion Test has taught me so much about this. It's not about having one grand purpose for your whole life. It's staying connected to what's true for you right now, following the energy breadcrumbs, and trusting that they're leading you somewhere meaningful.

Life Is All of It

We don't know how to show up around death, do we? And part of what this training is teaching me is just how uncomfortable most of us are with mortality. People don't know how to respond when someone is dying or when someone has lost a loved one.

I remember being in my twenties when my grandmother passed, and I went for a walk thinking, "What am I supposed to feel? I don't even know." And around the same time, a colleague lost a parent, and I asked my mom what I should say because I felt so awkward. My mom told me to simply ask, "How are you doing?"

That's it. Just be real and be present.

That's really the heart of what I've always done. Whether it's breathwork, coaching, family constellations, and soon, supporting people around death and grief, I'm here to bring presence. I'm not here to fix anyone. I'm here to hold space, to be with people in whatever they're going through, and to help them find their own peace.

This is exactly the kind of presence I hope to help others cultivate.

Maybe this is the thread I've been following all along without knowing it. Maybe all those years ago when I advocated for my parents, I was already being called toward something I couldn't name. And maybe what happened with my friend this summer, as painful as it was, opened something in me that needed opening.

Life is all of it. It's sex, it's death, it's emotions, it's messy, it's beautiful.

When we can stop compartmentalizing and start embracing the fullness of being human, we actually live more fully. We become more awake. More alive. More present.

I feel like I'm stepping into a new chapter, and I have no idea where this thread is going next. But I'm trusting it. I'm following the energy. And I'm grateful for every breadcrumb that led me here.

Next Steps

If you're feeling lost or stuck, if you're wondering what your next step is or what your passions really are, I encourage you to stay open. Pay attention to what drops into your lap. Notice the synchronicities, the little nudges, the ideas that seem to come from nowhere.

And when the next step appears, take it!

You never know where your threads are leading you. You might just find that missing puzzle piece.

Want to discover your own passions and follow your energy breadcrumbs? Book a FREE 15-minute discovery session with me, and let's uncover what's calling to you right now.